I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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