I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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