Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my being single is dangerous.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
