You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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