Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
