You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
