haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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