The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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