Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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