It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
