I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
