She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Your penis caused this!
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