Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
