who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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