: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize