we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
