The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
