Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
