im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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