The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
