suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
