I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
