please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize