yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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