would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize