WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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