those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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