I am puke
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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