i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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