I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
