what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
