my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
