My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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