you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
