He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
