You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
