The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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