Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
