I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
