then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
