Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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