Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
is it fun? or sober?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
