There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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