He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
