oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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