Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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