I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
