she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
