Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
