Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize