dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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