How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
