It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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