a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
