I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
