Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
