if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
