Duck Duck Cougar?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
