Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
