i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
