Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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