They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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