2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
