I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
