Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
