it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
