Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
