They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
