you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Still dying that you shit outside
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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