Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
