True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
