He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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