Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
