OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
