So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
